Gratitude

     We had a large donation come in this week.  Large as in "More than we brought in over the past 2 months combined."  Large as in "We can now pay our staff and the overdue bills we carried throughout the summer."  Large.  The staff of Joel's place were smiling and whooping and bouncing around for the night.  It was a fun evening.
   
     Problem solving.  It is one of my strengths and one of my central character flaws.  Our entire summer has been devoted to trying to figure a way out of our financial hole.  As soon as the donation was deposited and the staff paychecks were passed out, my attention shifted to the other problem areas that needed to be fixed.  While I will spend ample amounts of time working out those issues, it is important for me to push "Pause" in my brain and intentionally focus on an area that does not come naturally for me:  Gratitude.

     Gratitude.  Thankfulness.  Appreciation.  These words are all used to define each other.  What they boil down to is this: 

• An awareness of our need
• Provision by an outside party
• A relational connection and affection that grows from sharing in need and resources

Gratitude is hard to define and it is hard to quantify.  It is one of the more complicated emotions out there.  The amount of gratitude that we have is dependent on how aware we are of our needs.  It is also dependent on how much we indulge in worry about our future.  The spoiled child casts gifts aside out of boredom while the frightened child is too busy worrying to enjoy theirs.

     The grateful person, however, lives a life of joy and peace and wonder.  They feel the pain of need like everyone else but when provision comes, they savor it.  They embrace the one who gave to them.  They look to be generous since people have been generous with them.  They give freely and love freely and laugh freely since they feel that they have been lavished with gifts.

     Stop for a moment and think about what you have been given.  Personally, it is staggering.  I have parents who love and support me, who sacrificed incredible amounts to see me succeed.  I have an amazing, beautiful, compassionate, artistic wife who chose to spend her life with me.  I have two, almost three, remarkable children who bring wonder and laughter to my life every day.  I have a brain and heart and body that have been developed by teachers and coaches and mentors and pastors and friends.  I have a warm home in a cold climate.  I have a job that challenges me in a myriad of ways, sending me home both exhausted and invigorated all at the same time.  I live in an amazing place, surrounded by amazing people.  I serve a God big enough to create a Universe while interested enough in me to know how many hairs are on my head...true that number is getting less challenging every day, but you get my point.  Everything I have, everything I accomplished, everything I am is a result of what other people have poured into me mixed with a healthy portion of God's grace.  Humbling?  Of course.  But today I choose to focus on being grateful to them all.

     Soon I will dive back into problem solving...probably as soon as I get back home, actually.  But I want to strive to carry gratitude with me throughout my days.

     Thank you.  I have no better words than to say that I am grateful for each and every one of you.