What do you do with the bad kids?

     I have been asked this question enough, in enough varieties, that it seems like it would be helpful to give a public answer...with a few caveats.

• Caveat #1: There is no such thing as a "bad kid."  No one that I have encountered in over 15 years of youth ministry is inherently and intrinsically evil.  I have met annoying, arrogant, abusive, violent, imbalanced, angry, depressed, or manipulative kids...but not bad.  As I've talked about before, most of the behavior that we see in young people is reactionary...a way to cope with the pains and challenges of their lives.  If you get close enough to any of them, they will cry all over your shoulder.
• Caveat #2: Every story that I am about to share is made up.  I have no desire to publicly shame anyone who is trying to find their way in this world.  A general rule of thumb is to share names or stories...unless sharing stories is too revealing.  When you visit Joel's Place do not try to match faces to the crimes that you read here.  Again...they are all made up. 
• Caveat #3: Remember the goal.  The goal is not to get attendance numbers up at Joel's Place.  The goal is not polite and well mannered children.  The goal is to equip our teens to thrive in the real world after they leave this place.  Long-term thinking...long-term success.
• Caveat #4: Almost all our kids are tremendous.  They are respectful and fun-loving and well-adjusted.  They take turns and mentor younger members and are very protective of the culture that Joel's Place has established.

However we do have a few exceptions.  We have kids who are rude and try to start fights and steal and smoke and try to break every rule that we post.  They have broken families and broken minds and broken souls.  They require that everyone on staff pay extra attention every time that they walk into the building.  What do we do with them?

     Accountability and Grace.  Those are the two elements that our staff try to keep in balance.  Actions have consequences...kids need to learn that before they get into a lifestyle that sends them running to the streets.  If one of our members shows up to Joel's Place with a television that he just stole, the police must be called and restitution must be made.  If someone shows up drunk or high, they absolutely cannot enter the facility.  If someone vandalizes Joel's Place, they will be banned until they have paid for the repairs.  These kids will not be kids forever.  Adulthood is coming and the consequences become much more severe after 18.  Many of our youth do not have adults who will provide any accountability at all.  As a service to these kids we provide boundaries and accountability in an effort to teach them how to get along with the rest of the world.

     Accountability is huge...but Grace is even bigger.  These kids must know that even though they broke my window by being a bonehead, I still love and value them immensely.  If Joel's Place cannot love and serve teens who are rough around the edges then who can?  We have dozens of kids who have broken something...intentionally or unintentionally or just out of boredom.  Once the damage has been repaired and restitution has been paid, all is forgiven.  They are greeted by name every time they come in.  They are encouraged to join us in everything that we do.  There is no permanent record of wrongs that is kept...no probationary period to be endured.  They are fully restored to the family.  1890 Marika is just a building.  Sheetrock can be patched.  Cameras can be repaired.  Chairs can be replaced.  The fragile hearts and developing minds that come through our doors every day?  Those are the treasures of Joel's Place.  We are for them...deeply and intensely for them.  Everything that we do here is to help them survive and succeed outside of our walls.

     How do we treat the "bad kids?"  We hold them Accountable and then shower them with Grace.

     That's how families do.