Teenagers are not the problem

“When adults talk about youth, they talk mostly about problems- alcohol and other drugs, adolescent pregnancy, school dropout. The result is that many Americans have both a distorted, negative view of young people and an imbalanced, inaccurate picture of what they need to succeed.” ( Developmental Assets, Scales and Leffertt, 2004, p I)

"Teenagers are not a problem to be fixed.  They are all force with no vector.  They are full of energy and emotion and drama and potential with little direction.  Developmental Assets provide direction and Joel’s Place gives them a stake in our community so that when they mature they will become adults who reinvest into the Interior instead of becoming a generation that drains our resource and then leaves the state for good." (Excerpt from a grant I'm working on, Menaker, 2015)


I am immersed in grant writing these days.  There is a big 30-page monstrosity in particular that I am focused on.  In the midst of research for the project I came across this Developmental Assets book that was written a decade ago.  The quote that caught my eye is up top.  Most conversations that I have with adults about teenagers focus on what the kids are doing wrong and what we need to do to fix them.  There is a lot of

• "We need to stop them from doing _________________"
• "We need to motivate them to start doing ____________"
• "They need to stop being ____________ so that they can start _______________"

Now I have children of my own and have worked with teenagers for years, so I know how infuriating they can be.  I know that the selective hearing and random dramatic outbursts and general oblivion to anything outside of themselves can drive adults to the brink of insanity.  But youth are not the problem.  They are not broken and in need of fixing.

"Well, James, you don't know my son/daughter/grandchild/neighbor.  They are out of..."  Stop.  Yes, I do know them...or at least someone very much like them.  I can tell you exactly what is going on with them.  They are trying to figure out how to survive and make their way in this sinful and broken world.  The lashing out, the brooding, the parties, the drama, the tension, the bad friends...all of it.  These young men and women are trying to make sense of all the pain that is in the world and in their lives.  They are coming up with the best strategies that they can think of in order to make it through.  Most of these strategies are dumb and actually serve to make their lives worse, but this is their intent.  Even if your kid has a great home and makes good choices, there is an enormous strain upon their hearts and souls and minds as they try to navigate the muck of our world.

What can we, as adults, do?  First realize that teenagers are not the enemy to be conquered and civilized.  They are navigating this fallen world alongside of us, but without the experience and resources that we currently have.  If you have found something that helps you get through life with hope and joy and fulfillment, share it with them, because they are looking.  Personally I have found that my faith, community and a sense of purpose allow me to go to sleep each night feeling content rather than ragged.

Joel's Place looks to give teenagers an environment where they can develop really good life strategies.  We encourage them to pursue community, activity, skill development and dreaming instead of lethargy, isolation and escapism.  This is a place where they can explore the limits of what their maturing minds and bodies are capable of...where they can learn from mentors who are a few steps further along in their journeys.  

Young people need resources to help them along...not because they are broken and defective, but because everyone needs resources to help them along.  That is how we as humans are built.  Joel's Place, thanks to all our amazing partners and donors, is built to maximize how we invest those resources into our kids.