Friday, May 22, 2015

Reflecting

Sometimes I just have to step back.

I need to step back from the reports and the grants and the collection calls and the e-mails and the repairs and the requests.  I need to step back from the big feelings and the big drama that teenagers carry with them.  I need to step back from the Joel's Place 10 year plan.  I need to step back from all of the noise and the chaos and the frenzy that is the youth center.  It is easy to simply jump from one hat to another, one crisis to another, putting out fires (both figurative and literal) along the way while the hours and days and years fly by.

Every once in a while I need to step back and just be still.  No browsing the web.  No answering calls & texts.  I simply need some time and space to remember who I am and why I am here.

When I stop, I find that my mind keeps racing and problems and appointments and to do lists continue to roar through my brain.  It takes a little while to calm that raging river down into a gentle stream.  When I do...when I am still...I find a few things that I forgot that I needed.
  • My primary goal is to serve my God and my family.  If my job is getting in the way of either of those, it is time to reconsider my vocation.
  • I really enjoy being Executive Director of Joel's Place and I am becoming pretty good at it.  Out of every position that I have held, this one fits me the most.  That being said...
  • This is not a task that can be completed by myself.  As many hats as I wear over the course of a week, Joel's Place is demonstrably healthier and happier when I am working with the staff and the Board and volunteers to meet all the needs that arise.
  • My two favorite parts of this job are writing these blogs and staff development.
  • The part of this job that I dislike the most is policing bad behavior by the kids.
  • Speaking of the kids.  They love this place.  It really feels like a home to many of them. I like that a lot.
  • We have done some really good work over the past three years.  It is a source of pride to say that I work at Joel's Place.
These thoughts are encouraging and energizing.  Joel's Place is not perfect, but we are making a positive difference in the lives of hundreds of young people every year.  We change lives every single day.  That is a good reason to get out of bed and come to the cacophony that is this warehouse.  Joel's Place is not quiet often...my house is not quiet often.  But when I find those silent moments and remember not to fill them with fluff, I am in awe of the life that I have been given and eager to see what comes next.

May you find moments of silent encouragement some time this week.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Graduation

I remember my High School Graduation pretty well.  I remember singing in the school choir.  I remember our student speaker who blew bubbles and hit a beach ball...and ushered in a new era of student speeches needing to be approved by the administration.  I remember my economics teacher getting up and addressing us as a class to tell us that the world that we were heading into was getting worse and our lives were likely to be difficult and miserable.  I remember dislocating my finger at the graduation party at the athletic club that night.  Mostly I remember thinking, "This is it?  What's the big deal?"  A successful completion of High School was never in doubt for me.  The ceremony did not seem like a big accomplishment...it was more of a required annoyance that I had to walk through before getting on with the more compelling parts of my life.  As you may be able to discern, I was not the most upbeat and cheerful of teenagers.


My feelings are remarkably different as I think about this upcoming graduation season and the young men and women from Joel's Place who are completing their High School education.  Having worked with youth for over a dozen years, I have seen lots and lots of kids who have not received their diploma.  Sometimes it was due to health issues or learning disabilities or home problems or bad choices or unexpected drama.  Every kid has a story and challenges that they have faced. The ones who have developmental assets are the ones who are able to overcome those challenges and take those diplomas.

A high school diploma is a funny thing.  On the one hand it is a silly little piece of paper that just shows that you were able to make it through 12 years of school.  On the other hand, this document also shows that you are no longer a child physically, mentally or emotionally.  You are still growing and maturing, but you have learned how to learn and learned how to control yourself enough to complete a long-term goal.  Finishing High School requires hard work and discipline and social skills and planning and improvisation and discovering your gifts and passions and communication skills.  These are all the elements that you will need to succeed in life, wherever that path leads.  There are small glimpses of who you will become and what you could do with your life that those with discerning eyes can see.  You are clueless, but the foundation and the raw materials for building are all there.

Tomorrow there is a graduation party for our Seniors here at Joel's Place.  (Remember Board Members: You are providing food for them!!!!!)   They will begin the transition from JP kid to adult and, hopefully, they will reflect at some point about how Joel's Place helped them through their adolescent years.  Hopefully they will think about the words of wisdom that they heard here...the ways that they were known and loved here...the fun that they had and the ways that they learned to look out for others here.  Hopefully they will be inspired to invest in others just as they have been invested in.  We are so happy for this group...so proud of who they have become and so excited about what will come next for them.  There will always be another generation of kids, but this graduating class will never be replaced.

Friday, May 8, 2015

What do you do with the bad kids?

     I have been asked this question enough, in enough varieties, that it seems like it would be helpful to give a public answer...with a few caveats.
  • Caveat #1: There is no such thing as a "bad kid."  No one that I have encountered in over 15 years of youth ministry is inherently and intrinsically evil.  I have met annoying, arrogant, abusive, violent, imbalanced, angry, depressed, or manipulative kids...but not bad.  As I've talked about before, most of the behavior that we see in young people is reactionary...a way to cope with the pains and challenges of their lives.  If you get close enough to any of them, they will cry all over your shoulder.
  • Caveat #2: Every story that I am about to share is made up.  I have no desire to publicly shame anyone who is trying to find their way in this world.  A general rule of thumb is to share names or stories...unless sharing stories is too revealing.  When you visit Joel's Place do not try to match faces to the crimes that you read here.  Again...they are all made up. 
  • Caveat #3: Remember the goal.  The goal is not to get attendance numbers up at Joel's Place.  The goal is not polite and well mannered children.  The goal is to equip our teens to thrive in the real world after they leave this place.  Long-term thinking...long-term success.
  • Caveat #4: Almost all our kids are tremendous.  They are respectful and fun-loving and well-adjusted.  They take turns and mentor younger members and are very protective of the culture that Joel's Place has established.
However we do have a few exceptions.  We have kids who are rude and try to start fights and steal and smoke and try to break every rule that we post.  They have broken families and broken minds and broken souls.  They require that everyone on staff pay extra attention every time that they walk into the building.  What do we do with them?

     Accountability and Grace.  Those are the two elements that our staff try to keep in balance.  Actions have consequences...kids need to learn that before they get into a lifestyle that sends them running to the streets.  If one of our members shows up to Joel's Place with a television that he just stole, the police must be called and restitution must be made.  If someone shows up drunk or high, they absolutely cannot enter the facility.  If someone vandalizes Joel's Place, they will be banned until they have paid for the repairs.  These kids will not be kids forever.  Adulthood is coming and the consequences become much more severe after 18.  Many of our youth do not have adults who will provide any accountability at all.  As a service to these kids we provide boundaries and accountability in an effort to teach them how to get along with the rest of the world.

     Accountability is huge...but Grace is even bigger.  These kids must know that even though they broke my window by being a bonehead, I still love and value them immensely.  If Joel's Place cannot love and serve teens who are rough around the edges then who can?  We have dozens of kids who have broken something...intentionally or unintentionally or just out of boredom.  Once the damage has been repaired and restitution has been paid, all is forgiven.  They are greeted by name every time they come in.  They are encouraged to join us in everything that we do.  There is no permanent record of wrongs that is kept...no probationary period to be endured.  They are fully restored to the family.  1890 Marika is just a building.  Sheetrock can be patched.  Cameras can be repaired.  Chairs can be replaced.  The fragile hearts and developing minds that come through our doors every day?  Those are the treasures of Joel's Place.  We are for them...deeply and intensely for them.  Everything that we do here is to help them survive and succeed outside of our walls.

     How do we treat the "bad kids?"  We hold them Accountable and then shower them with Grace.

     That's how families do.

Friday, May 1, 2015

The April Alumni Challenge is over!

     There are some weeks when I have three or four ideas about what I want to write about for this blog...this is not one of those weeks.  First, allow me to take care of some housekeeping:

  • The April Alumni Challenge is finished.  Thank you to everyone who contributed and allowed it to be so successful.  How successful?  I will announce the numbers at our BBQ tomorrow, May 2nd from noon to 2pm at Joel's Place.  This is an open invitation to you all to stop by, whether you gave in April or not.  We would love to see you.  The kiddos are welcome as well since we will not have youth at JP until 3pm.
  • The Annual Walk for Charity happens next Friday evening.  If you are interested in walking with the Joel's Place team or would just like to give towards a good cause (us)...take a look at our homepage through this link.
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      Why do we fundraise?  Why even bother gathering donations or making big pushes like the April event?  There are two significant pieces to that answer.
  • First:  Fairbanks has seen a few for profit youth centers over the years.  It is hard to keep them open.  If we were to try balancing our budget solely through earned income (i.e. ride sessions, ride shop sales, building rentals, concerts and memberships) each two-hour ride session would need to generate around $200.  If we had ten riders that would mean charging them $20 per session.  Can you guess how many teenage skateboarders, bikers and scooters would be able to afford that rate? Not very many.  Charging $7 per session reduces our number of riders by half so charging $20 would put us out of business...which we want to avoid.  
  • Second: Fundraising is good for us and the community and our kids.  If someone approached us with millions of dollars for an endowment that met our entire budget...I would gladly thank them and accept.  But then I would continue raising funds within the community.  What we are doing here is too big for the Joel's Place staff and Board by themselves.  Building assets within high-risk youth takes time and energy and money that is larger than any one person or group of people.  I want the staff to know that they are not alone in caring for these kids.  I want our youth to know that there are members of the community who find them a worthwhile investment.  I want this community to be building up young people instead of degrading and discarding them because that is a significant marker of communal health.  A person's heart follows their money or their money follows their heart...either way they will end up in the same place.  Every check that we receive...every deposit that we make...every dollar that comes in is another partner who is pouring resources into kids who are on the edge of crisis and deciding how to deal with it.
Thanks to everyone who partnered with us this past month.  We deeply appreciate you.  I hope to see you at the BBQ tomorrow and hear your stories about what Joel's Place has meant to you over the years.